Back in the saddle

When I set this blog up it was my plan to blog at least once a day so my family and friends would know how I was doing. I thought it would be easier and less complicated than sending emails. I never, for even one second, thought I would struggle, that I would not be able to open my computer and start spilling out my thoughts.

I came here hoping to make a difference, make life a little better on some level for these kids, but what it feels like is I'm standing on the edge of a raging fire…..with a squirt gun. Yesterday was difficult, and last night when I thought about what I’d write, I would start to cry. I don't mean tears would sting my eyes and never fall, I mean cry. I ended up sending Tad a quick email saying, "I'm fine, no blog entry tonight" and I shut my computer down and sat outside under the lunar eclipse.

This orphanage is for "abandoned children" which seems a bit redundant, because isn't every orphan abandoned? Anyway, they have a group of children with special needs, and we were helping in that area yesterday. The kids range in age from two years old to teenagers. They are, physically, very disabled. I really struggled, in part because I know, without a doubt if any of these kids, with the exception of one, had been born in Reno County and had the benefit of an organization called TECH and the Early Education Center, they would be able to function day to day and possibly live on their own. Let me tell you, this area made the main orphanage look like high dollar day care.

These kids were left at the orphanage because they were less than perfect; some families view these kids as shameful. There is a blind boy that seems normal, other than the fact that he is blind. He was not born blind but had acid poured in his eyes when he was small so he is very scarred. There is no one working with him or teaching him how to manage. He just wonders around and screams when he gets scared and doesn't know where he is. There is no physical therapy, or structure for these kids. I did not see even one toy. That will change before I leave.

There's this boy named, Ali, he's around 15 and very handsome. He could say his name and a few other words in arabic. I took him outside in his wheelchair to walk around and when a yard man or nurse would walk by they would say his name and he was quick to smile and he would raise his hand to shake theirs. I just felt like he was aware of what was going on and somehow trapped inside a body that doesn't work. I kept pointing to him and saying, "Ali" and then to myself and saying, "Mel". Later in the day when I pointed to him he said "Ali" and when I pointed to myself he said, "Mel". It was amazing and he smiled so big. At one point in the day he was pointing to my watch and then to another boys shirt and I didn't know what he was trying to tell me then I realized they were both pink. This kid is smart! When we were getting ready to leave I went and saw him one last time, I put my hand on his face and said goodbye and he flashed that smile.

I'm back in the saddle. The crying has stopped. I will get some things done before I leave. I'm working on getting some toys for the special needs section of the orphanage, and I'm getting a few other items they need like plungers, towels etc. I've found a few things but I think I will be able to get a lot of things this weekend when I have more time.

By the way, I got to spend some time with Ali again today. I wish I could bring him home with me!

More tomorrow.....