First day at the orphanage

I went to the orphanage today. It's going to be hard to find the words to describe what it was like, it was overwhelming, emotionally. I'm not sure what I expected, I guess on some level I expected to just love on these kids and play with them. It was very hands on but in an assembly line sort-of way. I went with three other women and it was the first time any of us had been there. Orientation did not prepare us, not really.

Kids were brought into this room where there are three slabs, for lack of a better word, where they were lathered up, rinsed off and their teeth brushed, using the same toothbrush. They were handed to us next and we diapered and dressed them then we brushed their hair and then handed them off. Next we fed them breakfast which was crumbled bread mixed with warm milk and bottles for the babies. I saw nurses standing next to beds giving bottles. Someone asked if they could pick them up and they said, "this way is easier". I found myself on the verge of tears several times. I'm already worried about who is coming after us to help them.

We are not allowed to take any pictures at the orphanage, can't even take our cameras, so I took a picture of a sign that hangs on the wall at our "home base" when we returned.

When I got back to the home base I slept for three hours. I'm not a napper and I'm sure Tad is happy not to have me next to him tonight, tossing and turning and waking him every hour or so to say, "I can't get to sleep".

They are shutting the lights out so I need to shut down my computer or the bugs will be all over my screen.

Good night.